In a frenzy

Dark night, blacker than the satan's soul (oh.. satan has a soul?) ... pause... you want me to continue? then you must not interrupt. are we clear about this one? good.

Now where were we...? Yes...

The night was dark. Darker than satan's soul. blacker than sin. you couldn't see your hand if you were to raise it to your eyes. moon chose to remain undercover. she'd had it with the asshole wind, ripping off the clouds from her body and exposing her to eyes... stars shed their light on earth. and you lay there. your eyes are closed. your hair flowing from beneath your head, like a dark pool. a pool of blood? one eye opens. "what are you thinking?" i start. "nothing", i say nonchalantly. are you watching me? from beneath those lids?

suddenly you get up, shaking the grass and leaves and grit from you body. your movements are sensuous. your hair slithers down to your waist...like a snake. i can almost see the darting tongues. heartbeats quicken as you walk towards me. i have been standing all this while and you are now so close i can see myself in your eyes. "we can't wait here forever. let's go". you turn back and walk with that heavy tread. full hips sway in sync with the feet. "are you gonna stand there all night watching my ass?" Damn... bitch! i walk irritatedly. this is it. no more late nights with her.

Smack my Bitch Up...

She stood there...in red and black...hair teasing full hips...she turned, my eyes dropped down and so did my mouth...that damn butt was the sweetest, the best, it was to DIE for, to KILL for...

WHAP...the heel ground into my jaw, almost slicing it off...if i hadnt shifted in time...it would have been KO the very first round...Na-haa...cannot let this hotness distract me...

I dodged a couple of near-perfect punches. About time i went on to the offense...POW on a flat stomach...phew... I would give everything to dip inside that navel...she straightened, grimaced and frowned at me...

I smiled...i noticed the muscles of her right leg flex...she was readying herself for the lethal scythe...it was her special...it was unpredictable...it could hit anywhere, anytime...i stopped smiling...

She moved in a semi-circle path, grace and sex dripping from every inch of her body...biding her time...waiting for me to lose focus...so she could strike...

i moved with her...i knew i had to be focused...or else it was KO the entire fucking way...

it all happened in a flash of a second...when she flew at me, i just didn't know...but i was prepared with a defense move...and i had her pinned on to the wall...her eyes spitting fire at me...

the fucking button had to plop off from her shirt right at that fucking time and come flying into my eye...blinding me...and then it was a PERFECT ... she punched and kicked and basically went ballistic on me...

In the end...she stood over me...legs apart, batting eye lashes, ample cleavage showing through the almost non-existent shirt...sweet voice said.."and i win..."

Holy fuck...it is gonna be one hell of a night taming this wild cat...

Inspired by this weird ass game called 'Tekken' (I think)...where all these hot women were kicking male butts like BIG TIME...i enjoyed thoroughly... :D

Are we having fun yet?

In a corner of the world... she sits cowering...gazing terrified at all the happenstances...whirling past her..flinching at the slightest sound, eyes and mouth open wide, but the scream is silent...shreds of torn black silks fallen around her...like dead black birds...

Debris on the road...dumped metal heaps...a half building bent with shame... the explosion devoured its roof...a man on the road, a gun shot, bullet ripping through him, he flies without wings, body arched, hands hanging limply, head thrown back, a question in his eyes, "did i just get shot...???" little does he know that he's dead...

An underground basement...monotonous tempo...thud thud thud...strobe lights flashing, purple, blue, green...eyes closed, bodies swaying, lost to everyone, maybe themselves too...

She lies there, black silk sliding off a white shoulder...film of sweat on the rounded curve of an arched breast, head on the arm of a plush purple settee, hair touches the floor, mouth parted wide trying to steal the already depleting oxygen, sinuous body curved like cupid's bow reaching into him, head slowly sliding off the arm of the settee, almost touching the floor...exposing a neck that deserved to be ravaged, legs entwined around him, tantalizing glimpses of a milky white thigh...

He gazes down at her...dead eyes, muscles taut, rippling, a finger following the path made by a drop of sweat, down the flawlessly shaped neck...a neck which deserves to be ravaged, his jaw tightens, teeth gritted...a neck which has been punctured...mini-wounds...desperate search for veins to plunge the needle in...the knife is in his hand, sharp serrated... he surveys her body lying beneath him, the arched breasts, the soft skin shaming black silk, the submission...a hand grips and curves around her vulnerable throat finding the pulse...fluttering heartbeat...the knife shimmers...

She sits there cowering...in one corner of the world...they had warned her about him...but she was powerless...the knife wound on her thigh a testimony of what might have happened if she had not snapped out of the haze...she wondered why she picked up the gun when she left her apartment...

As he took flight he gazed at the sky...a million stars came tumbling down on him...he saw an up-side down world...he saw her face...the gun falling down from her hand..."did i just get shot?"

I WANT

to ramble on and on and never stop...

whats been happening? hmmm... lots of things actually.

bumping (literally) into Manisha Koirala's brother (such a dazzling smile...whew)...

meeting someone whom i really connected with... after a very very long time (not often does one get so lucky)...i love you RIC

getting the attention of my favourite child at work (i'm walking on air with that silly smile on my face... sigh)...

watching my jeans slide down my hips with a satisfied smile (no, idiots... i mean i'm losing weight and hence the jeans just sliiiiiide)... :-)

feeling my hair kiss my waist lingeringly ... (yes...the hair IS growing)... :-)

looking forward to a visit and meeting a soul mate... (.....:-))

preparing for an annual event at work (i get to be with the children for some more time ... :-) yayy)...

spending time with appa and amma (the love i feel for them takes my breath away...)

realizing that although life has had some raw deals i still smile at the end of the day when i close my eyes and snuggle up with mommy...

getting called out by this rickshaw wala (to take his auto) who vented out his frustration on being abused because he was a 'bhaiya'... (i heard him out while he ranted)

getting stuck in an off season rainfall and conversing with cabbies about their lands back home...(all of them were biharis and in complete love with their matrubhoomi) :-) true sons of the soil... THE COMPLETE MEN ... unlike some others...

speaking Marathi with ancient shopkeepers outside Dadar station and enjoying the feeling of belonging to the state and to the city...(i love those old men and their complete, genuine inclination to be of service...sigh) :-)

strangely reveling in the fact that i am desirable when i see the men of Islam staring lustily at me (no one and i mean NO ONE can look at a woman the way these men do. such a raw and honestly exact expression of what they feel...even if it is pure lust) :p

there are many more things happening...the above just outlines it... no point in boring you with endless narratives, na... :-)

Grumble...mumble...blah blah...

So many things happening... 24 hours are not enough...

i got a new place...will be moving in by november 1st. i cannot even begin to explain how relieved i am by this development. although it has slightly overshot my old budget, it is well within my new one. :p. and friends, setting up your crib is not easy, trust me. i am one of the most minimalistic persons but even then i am finding it difficult to figure out what i need and what i don't. of course the mater and the pater are coming over. and all my thinking alouds have been misconstrued as actual future events and everyone is harbouring different ideas and generally confusing one another including me. so yeah...till i actually move in this is going to be the scene...

i met a ghost from the past... brought back a lot of surreal memories. at times i wonder whether i am beginning the cycle again. i seem to be what i was some time back. physically and mentally. i know it sounds strange but the only newness in me is a strange kind of calm that comes with bitter experience. my earlier calm was more of a serene kind of calm and not one of those - been there felt that - kind of calms. maybe i need to tap all those things i did which made me feel light and positive and strong. is it a regression? no. i was afraid that it might be. but i am now convinced that it is not.

and no... im not taking myself too seriously. i am only disconnecting myself from me and watching the changes that are happening within me. it is like coming out of your body, sitting in a corner and watching yourself do stuff, say stuff and react to stuff. :-) and i am liking what i am seeing.
:-)))))

Damn...what have i written. Tch...

ok the other day, i was at my maasi's place. and suddenly the bell rings. i open the door. i see the backs of sardarji boy, friend 1 and friend 2. sardarji boy turns. he goggles at me, gaping mouth and all. and he mutters... "26th...coupons....dinner....150 rupees....garba....". Friend 1 runs a hand through already tousled hair and gives a broad (very attractive) sheepish grin...Friend 2 has an agonized expression on his face...he looks around...(nahi dost...there is no hole where you can go and hide)...i burst into uncontrolled laughter. sardarji boy is even more confounded and has now forgotten why he rang the bell. friend 1 (sheepishness all gone) laughs with me (saala gaddaar)...friend 2 is now turning a shade that could only be described as dark pink...
well can i blame them....? i mean, what would you do if a vision of loveliness was to answer the doorbell....? Hmmnn?

Islam, iftiyari and me...

i have a colleague. i'll call him...uhmmm....SRK (he's a total fanatic).
he is muslim and for the past 2 days a very beautiful happenstance is happening with us...as in with the team.
yesterday was sheer madness. another colleague of mine...i'll call her... Songbird... who is a proper food junkie came to work all hungry and exasperated (cabbie had apparently taken her for a ride...). food, she declared...i want food...and the choice was made. SAMOSAS... not one but 2 each. so that happened in the morning 11:45 ish. after 2 samosas...a lunch seemed slightly discomforting but we did taste some tidbits...
then came evening. what to eat? what to eat? and SRK announces..."break roza with me today..."...ooooh...what a super idea! and i still remember how the stalls overflow with food in that area of our city. Oh my God... it is phenomenal. the variety, the colours, the flavours, the textures, the aromas... such a small stomach and so much to eat. bhajiyas, pakodas, mini samosas, shaami kebabs, naans, ragda, kachumber, falooda, fruit salads....sighhhh!
6:40 pm he said. the time was 4:30. 2 HOURS. how those 2 hours passed only i know. and when the time arrived, we heard the magrib or is it isha (not sure) from a distance. it sounded like divine music to our ears. SRK smiled at me. i smiled at Songbird and Songbird smiled at Shoutfest (colleague number 3). yayyyy....time to stuff our faces. we went upstairs and sat down and ate to our hearts' content.
you know something, i don't think even SRK after his whole day of roza would have waited with such anticipation for the break as we did after our 2 hours roza. and when we sat there... all of us huddled over the overflowing paraats...damn... i felt one with SRK and im sure so did Songbird and Shoutfest. that little sharing of food brought us all together and at one point we all felt that even we should have gone through the niyat ceremony.
the same thing happened today. i'm eating so much. it's not funny. but it feels so good when all of us sit with SRK and eat and pray for him as well as ourselves. it's super beautiful. i still remember him mentioning with a smile (after he'd finished eating) ... "and now off with the topi and on with the dandiya...". he's a dancer so...yeah...he's gonna go dance for the Goddess too... :-))) how much we've gone through as far as our respective religions are concerned. yet when it comes to simple life events all barriers are broken and oneness is achieved.
and i am so glad to be a part of this pure, simple ritual because in a day of turmoils i feel so full of peace when i sit down with the rest of them and .... eat. :-)))))

Gyaan Guru ... Autowallah

i don't know why ... but i took an auto from andheri to bhandup. it was one of those days when i wanted to just sit back and watch people go by, vehicles go by, animals go by...like a blur. and that's exactly what was happening. if i had my way...i would have wished that the ride never ended. it also happened to be the day when an Eternal Knight was born. so yeah, there was something in the air...
then bhandup arrived. and i was asked whether i had to go west or east. and as usual i didn't remember. so i said west. again as usual...i was so wrong. so i did a 'wise' thing. i called a colleague and asked her whether it was east or west. i could hear loud guffaws in the background. OH WELL...SO WHAT???
i told the autowallah...go eastwards, my dear man... and he shook his head. his face expressed many emotions. frustration, helplessness, resignation... i mean...can't blame him, na. he was riding forever. oh did i forget to mention...it was raining and the traffic was SUPERMEAN!!!
then he said (i represent a translated version here. but it is verbatim): "please don't take offence, but i have been watching you. you have been staring into space and thinking. the entire time. remember one thing, there is no point in thinking about something that you're never going to get. in fact it is an utter waste of time..."

okkk...whatever!!!